


Y Coordinate

by Chantilly



Series: Tend To Infinity [2]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Drama & Romance, Exes, M/M, Misunderstandings, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, lovers to strangers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-11 22:55:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16861606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chantilly/pseuds/Chantilly
Summary: Were they simply meant to get infinitely close, but never be together and forever tend to infinity without each other?





	Y Coordinate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> [PART 2/2]  
> Jihoon's POV
> 
> For some reason this feels more angsty or?  
> Either way please enjoy!

* * *

 

_“Tell me to stay.”_

  
That was what Daniel told him – _asked_ him to say that day.

  
Jihoon felt his heart sink and his soul shake because he knew Daniel would do as he said –as he promised. He always did.

  
As his lips parted to tell him to  _stay_ , confusion and doubt made Jihoon think twice.

_  
"Tell me to stay, and I will.”_

  
He replayed that in his mind and yet all Jihoon remembered was how Daniel told  _him_  to  _go_.  


 

* * *

 

 

> If you could have one question answered, what would it be?

 

Jihoon, after his break up with Kang Daniel, sent that message to random numbers after he changed his in a blind fit of melancholy. Whenever he remembered Daniel, Jihoon sent that question to one random number. It went from him sending around ten messages in a day until it got fewer and fewer as days and weeks passed.

A month later, he only sent once a day.

It was then he knew that he began healing, thought of Daniel less and less because evidently, he didn’t think of Jihoon in return.

As his blind message sending fiasco happened, of course there were those who replied that he perhaps got the wrong number. Jihoon would apologize and the other party wouldn’t reply anymore. Often, no one replied at all. Jihoon took no blow from that since he didn’t really intend for anyone to answer.

He sent that question out because well… he didn’t know.

 

 

> If you could have one question answered, what would it be?

 

It was paradoxical in itself for him as the sender because he himself didn’t know  _why_  he asked. However, he did have a list of questions he wanted answered –one of which will be the answer to his own previous question.

  
Had he voiced this out to others, they would scowl in confusion and change the subject.

  
Jihoon’s mind worked differently. That was apparent. And sometimes he himself didn’t understand his mind’s own mechanism. It’s why he mostly kept to himself and bothered less to actually speak out to others. His family was of course those who he could speak his mind to a little more. But to others? Rarely.

  
Ah but there was one who has been  _so_  patient with him –someone who not only respected his way of thinking but also encouraged him to. To think big, think in multiple perspectives, and to never shrink himself in a box.

  
Kang Daniel was someone who always wanted him to  _shine_.

  
That’s how he loved Jihoon. He loved him by making him feel special and let others know that he was.

  
And Jihoon missed him.

  
It was a Thursday evening and he sent that question out again the first and hopefully the  _last_  time for the day. He typed in a number and pressed send. In his daze, it was only when the screen flashed ‘ _Sent’_  had he realized that the number he typed was  _Daniel’s_  number.

  
Jihoon groaned, tossed his phone beside him on the bed, and covered his face in embarrassment. He took comfort in reminding himself that he changed his number so Daniel wouldn’t know it’s him. He desperately hoped that Daniel also changed his number, but knowing the older man, he’d be too lazy to memorize a new one.

  
A ping was heard alerting him of a new message. Jihoon braced himself before checking.

 

 

> _Sorry but you got the wrong number._

 

It was the common reply he got and yet it felt…weird knowing that it was Daniel. Jihoon inhaled deeply, his mind telling him  _not_  to reply. Ah but his hands betrayed him. He was typing a reply before his mind could catch up and stop him.

At first, the message he was composing was the usual apology but then his mind conspired now with his hands and told him that it  _was Daniel_. The once  _his Daniel_  who’s been getting troubled more and more as a trainee even when he didn’t say it –even when he didn’t  _show it_.

They weren’t together now but it wouldn’t hurt to still show some support… right?

Before he could ponder further, Jihoon already pressed ‘send’ again.

 

 

> Oh! Sorry. Must’ve mistyped the number. Anyways, hope you had a great day~ if not, well… sorry again. There’s always a tomorrow! Fighting! 

 

A part of him hoped that Daniel won’t reply anymore and yet the whole of him  _knew_  that Daniel will. But still, Jihoon desperately wished he wouldn’t…

 

 

> _^^ yeah, it’s been a day. Thanks for that. Hope your day was better than mine : )_

 

Because Jihoon knew he coulnd’t resist.

 

>  
> 
> What happened?

 

And just like that, a bridge connected between them once more.

 

* * *

 

 

> _I saw him again today, Minhyunnie~_
> 
>   
>  Your crush?
> 
> _  
> Yes! He’s pretty as ever <3_

 

Jihoon’s heart constricted and he bit his lip as he took on the façade of a supportive and enthusiastic friend. It’s been almost a month of Jihoon conversing with Daniel without the other’s knowledge of his true identity. They exchanged names they prefer to be called and as expected, Daniel gave his actual name. It was cute really. Jihoon, on the other hand, gave the name of his favorite member in Nu’est, a group he’s enjoyed for quite a while now.

  
So for Daniel, he was ‘Minhyun’, his virtual friend who he sent messages and gushed his crush over to. That was most of their conversations. Daniel fawning over a guy he’s struck in love with.

  
Of course it hurt Jihoon.

  
Made him insecure and suspected that that person was probably one of the reasons why Daniel broke up with him.

 

The first time Daniel mentioned that person, Jihoon physically felt himself pale. His heart dropped and his world stopped. He was having a good freaking day too. Out with his family on a nice Sunday afternoon, they got home and he was in high spirits and then suddenly Daniel messaged him.

  
He told Jihoon about how happy he was that he saw his crush earlier –speaking of how good he looked, how beautiful his smile was, and how he just wanted to come up to him and hug him tight.

  
Jihoon was never a jealous person, and just when the moment he felt it arrived, it happened when they weren’t together anymore. Typical.

  
As he took a breath to alleviate his negative emotions, Daniel kept on gushing about him the way he did when feeling genuinely happy and excited.

 

> _  
> If I could, I’d take him out for a date. Take him to see different places and just spoil him. :)_

  
Jihoon pursed his lips and he felt his eyes getting moist but he batted them away. He will  _not_  cry. Not when Daniel seemed happy. Jihoon promised himself that he will never find grief in the other’s joy –even if that joy meant being with someone else. His battle with his emotions spanned for a few minutes after Daniel’s last message and perhaps the other got worried that he made the conversation awkward. The chat showed that Daniel was typing but Jihoon beat him to it not wanting to make the older feel panicked or disregarded.

 

 

> He’d be very lucky to date you

  
Was all he said. Jihoon felt a little hollow after that.

 

> _  
> You think so?_
> 
>   
>  I know so : )

  
He truly did know. If he could, Jihoon would go back to that time and feel Daniel’s love. But it’s impossible when there’s no one to go back to.

  
No more yesterdays and only tomorrows.

 

* * *

 

Yesterday.

Yesterday Jihoon decided to join the upcoming new season of Produce 101. He didn’t want to at first, it seemed too much for him, his company was small and he didn’t think his training was sufficient enough. But Kwon Hyeop was adamant for him to join together and bribed him with food. It was essentially a shallow deciding factor but then again, Jihoon thought that there was no actual harm for him to  _try_.

  
After all, he wouldn’t get anywhere further if he didn’t even make an attempt to put one foot out the door.

  
And the path he wanted to take was to be an idol. To be an idol meant to  _shine_. He can’t shine if he kept himself locked in the confines of his home, school, and agency.

  
That’s why he put his hesitations at the back of his mind. He’ll do what he can to debut, to achieve his dream. The same dream he had with Daniel. They were parallel of each other through and through.

  
However, to go down the same road as Daniel meant that they had to take it separately.

  
For the road they both chose wasn’t kind.

 

* * *

 

There were points in which Jihoon wanted to ask Daniel who was the guy he’s struck in love with now. But then he’d hesitate because once he knew their name, it only further cements that Daniel moved on to someone else and Jihoon wasn’t sure if he can keep up with this  _friendship_  when that happened.

  
He didn’t even know why he’s still at this.

  
Although as time passed and he saw how smitten Daniel was, he slowly learned to move on himself. Finding Daniel happy and enthusiastic was enough for Jihoon. And so he managed to banter with him as easily as he did before.

  
However, whenever he coaxed Daniel into just going and talking to that person, it did still kind of hurt.

  
Jihoon wondered if Daniel would truly forget about him once he did.

 

\---

 

> _I can never forget his smile. How his eyes light up with every expression._

Jihoon’s felt his heart constrict in his chest as Daniel suddenly rained him with messages regarding the person he’s enamoured with.

 

> _  
> He looked so cute in the long cardigan he wore. He usually wears loose fitting clothes, yknow? He’s still cute though. I wish I could’ve gifted him more. I promised I would’ve. If I make it as an idol? I’d shower him with gifts, take him anywhere he’d want to go…_
> 
> _I wish I could do more._
> 
>  

Jihoon’s eyes strayed over to where the long cardigan he wore earlier in the day and he looked back at the stream of messages Daniel gave. Jihoon quickly scrolled back up their conversation and read the previous messages from long ago while Daniel kept sending more and he connected that the things Daniel told him his crush did, when he saw him, and how he was...

  
It all pointed to  _Jihoon._

  
He didn’t want to think about. He didn’t want to assume –to hope that it’s him that Daniel’s in love with.

  
They were  _over_.

  
Daniel was the one who broke it off so why would he…  


 

> _I love him so much. Gave everything up for him._

 

All this time Jihoon’s been looking for a sign to stop this charade of being an anonymous friend to Daniel. And that message was all the sign he needed.

 

\---

  

_“Tell me to stay.”_

That was what Daniel told him – _asked_ Jihoon to say. 

  
He went after the older man when he found out he was leaving. Jihoon rushed and got there in time to catch up to Daniel. But then Jihoon couldn’t find the strength to walk to him because what right did he have to? And yet as always, it was Daniel who closed the distance between them. Jihoon stood there stone still when Daniel walked up to him, his eyes surprised and yet held the hope –the longing that he  _will_ be there.

  
Jihoon should’ve known better. He should’ve known that he couldn’t keep  _away_. Not when he fully realised that Daniel still loved him. Rather, he never stopped loving him.

  
And so he went after him.

  
“Tell me to stay.” Daniel said, his voice practically pleading Jihoon. “Tell me to stay, and I  _will_.”

  
Jihoon’s lips parted and closed as the words he wanted to convey opposed one another. He wanted him to stay. Stay and see what could be –what could come out of their future here together. They can  _make it._  Jihoon could feel it… could feel that if Daniel pursued being an idol, he will make it big.

_  
‘But what if we don’t?’_

If nothing came out of them, Jihoon will bear that. Bear the weight of completely breaking Daniel’s hopes all because Jihoon wanted to be selfish for he wished for him to stay.

Their eyes meet and suddenly it was as if there was nothing else existing but them.

 

* * *

 

 

To reach for their dream or to be with each other.

  
It was the choice that Jihoon found little difficulty in deciding.

  
He’d choose  _Daniel_ …

  
With the reality of how slim the chances were of making it big, Jihoon felt no sense of loss. He was already hesitant. When he met Daniel, he was sure that it wasn’t the life for him. Don’t misunderstand, Daniel  _supported_  his dreams –unequivocally so. And in those acts of devotion did Jihoon’s heart cleared. He couldn’t  _lose_  Daniel.

  
Small were the chances of becoming an idol. But meeting someone like Kang Daniel was one in a billion.

  
Jihoon was young, he can find another path so he prepared to let go of his dream in order for him to be with Daniel. Jihoon was sure the other felt the same. 

_“I can’t be who I want to be if I’m with you”_

But then Daniel chose to let  _him_  go just when Jihoon was about to  _hold on._

It broke his heart… however he’s come to realise that Daniel did it for  _him_  –for Jihoon to go on for his dream because Daniel wanted him to shine.

_  
“Tell me to stay, and I will.”_

  
Now, Daniel reached for him once more –no longer afraid and prepared to weather any hardship with him. His mind reeled back however, to Daniel letting him go  _because_  he loved Jihoon. And now the uncertainty of what could be loomed over Jihoon and overshadowed his hopes.  
 

“You should go…”

  
It was then that Jihoon became the one who chose to let  _him_  go when Daniel was  _ready_  to  _hold on._

  
\---  


To reach for their dream or to be with each other –was the question both of them faced.

And in the end, they could only  _dream_  of being with each other.

 

* * *

 

Bright lights surrounded him along with cheers from the crowd. Jihoon looked up and closed his eyes and let himself bask in the moment, the warmth of the light, revel in the applause, the fluttering of the confetti cascading down touched him ever so lightly…

It still felt surreal, being where he was.

More than two years passed after debuting with  _Wanna One_ brought success he never imagined and right now, the future only seem getting brighter. He hoped it would.

However, there were times when he closed his eyes, he’d  _imagine_.

How would it have been like had he debuted with Daniel? To open his eyes and see Daniel next to him up on stage, performing, receiving awards and to feel his strong presence during these special moments.

In his mind, it was vivid. He’d see Daniel’s bright smile and handsome face. No doubt he’d become more handsome as the years go by. Jihoon closed his hand and try to imagine Daniel’s hand in his.

It felt  _real._

But then, when he’d open his eyes, he wasn’t there.

Jihoon smiled lightly as he stood where he was, eyes still closed. A smile of acceptance of their reality –the reality that they’re miles away and faded memories were all they had. The reality that when he’d open his eyes, Daniel wasn’t there.

Light engulfed his vision momentarily upon opening his eyes. And when it cleared he looked at the crowd of fans, he smiled, waved, and posed for pictures as he always made sure to express his gratitude to them by giving his full attention to all of them.

He made his way over to another side to tend to the crowd there.

When he turned, his world shifted.

 

_He’s there…_

_Kang Daniel._

Suddenly it was as if no one else but them existed once again. Time slowed down and reweaved from the first time they saw each other, the day they broke up, to the final time they saw each other at the airport, and ultimately leading up to  _now_.

White noise surrounded Jihoon at the sight of him, his emotions caught in unending turns. Daniel seemed to be the same however his expression more solemn as he stood there, camera in hand.

And then, Daniel smiled and the haze clouding Jihoon’s mind dissolved into absolute clarity.

With the world around in motion once more, Jihoon returned the smile.

 

* * *

 

 

> If you could have one question answered, what would it be?

  
It was then that Jihoon found his question.

_  
Could there still be a chance for them?_

 

**Author's Note:**

> So is there a chance? You get to decide ^^
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> Comments and kudos feed the author! ❤


End file.
